Counselling for Your Relationship
Every relationship has problems at some time or another and may need help. However, if the robust discussion becomes a raging row, we can lose the issues in the storm. As an illustration, do relationships break because the toothpaste lid is left off? Relationship counselling – also known as relationship therapy – provides a safe, confidential space to discuss your relationship and can help whether it’s a marriage, civil partnership or something less formal.
Communication is key. If there isn’t good communication between the people, there will be no resolution.
In other words, if communication has been fraught with fierce arguments, slanging matches, negativity and searing accusations, does it help? Counselling sessions can help give you space to explore the challenges you face.
“Having suffered from depression and anxiety for many years I have experience of all sorts of types of counselling, some more successful than others, although prior to recently I had not experienced Person Centred Counselling. At first I found it quite an adjustment from the therapies I had been used to, where I was often challenged in order to rethink and reassess my thoughts and behaviours. I wasn’t used to being so supported.
I know this sounds like such a simple thing but when I felt like nobody else was actually listening to me or acknowledging that what I felt was real and valid, it was so important for me to find someone (not related to me or a friend and therefore somewhat unbiased) who made me feel like I was being heard.”
7 Ways Relationship Counselling Can Help.
- It can help you discover how you feel about the relationship in a safe, non-judgemental, confidential environment—identifying your wants and needs.
- You can speak freely about issues that concern you without fear of recrimination or escalating into an argument: big things or little things.
- Couples counselling can give you clarity regarding the relationship. Sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees. Therefore, we become overwhelmed.
- It helps you to take responsibility. As a result, it limits the ‘blame game’.
- It helps you to see another’s point of view. Therefore, you may gain a better understanding of the behaviour and motives of the other. Hence, slower to judge/blame.
- It helps with self-awareness and growth as individuals and in the relationship. Consequently, you may be better able to identify, overcome and pre-empt challenges.
- Most importantly, couples counselling can help improve verbal and non-verbal communication between you and your partner.
Is it normal to lose the ‘spark’ in a relationship?
Generally, relationships develop through stages. I would suggest the steps are not entirely exclusive but a general direction.
In this phase, the couple believes that the relationship is positive. Even though there may be little challenges, things are going to be okay. Butterflies in the tummy. Anticipation. Every meeting is an event. However, it is not realistic to expect to live in an amusement park.
Day to Day.
A couple starts to learn more about each other, facing situations as a couple, not as individuals. Consequently, couples may begin to notice disagreements. As a result, splinters may grow into logs if left to fester.
Individuals may start to feel anxious due to the change in dynamic. As a result, they may begin to think they have made a mistake. Things aren’t as they were, which leads to more anxiety. Small things grow into big things and, if not communicated, to huge things.
If not resolved, these challenges can build far beyond their beginnings. Moreover, they can transform into masks to obscure the real reasons behind them—a sort of snowball effect.
A couple may apportion responsibility to each other, themselves or situational factors. Challenges take on a life of their own. Far more significant than the ‘splinters’. Relationship counselling can help people relate to each other more constructively – a better situation for you and your partner.
Do I need couples counselling to communicate and relate?
Counselling can provide an opportunity to explore your attitude to the relationship. Is it a habit? Do you want to save it? Likewise, it can help you to establish and reopen lines of communication. Having a clearer view of the situation will help you and your partner see a way to move on.
Can relationship counselling mend a broken relationship?
Communication takes the pressure off. For example, shake a bottle of Coke and take the cap off too quickly and see what happens (other carbonated drinks are available). Couples counselling helps open up communication and can help towards a healthy relationship.
Not communicating is keeps your needs and expectations, your hopes and fears, in a box – A box that will only get heavier. Furthermore, we may know someone well enough to think we ‘just know’ each other’s wants and needs… but do we? Hearing them leaves no room for doubt.
In short, things left unsaid can lead to a lot of tension and anxiety in a relationship. At the same time, other influences, for example, guilt, lack of respect, hangovers from the past and indifference, may come into play. As a result, people may find it harder to get along with each other. They may want to escape the situation temporarily or permanently. Try to talk it out, not run out.
What does a relationship counsellor do?
Relationship counsellors aim to help people gain understanding, resolve conflict and improve their relationship experience.
Being willing to engage with relationship counselling is the first step to understanding a very challenging situation. Whether you attend as a couple or on your own, a relationship counsellor can help unravel the questions, pain, and guilt. All positive for general mental health and address relationship issues.
You and your partner: two individuals bracketed by each other (ii).
In conclusion: If you ask ‘where can I get relationship counselling near me?’ why not try relationship counselling online? Many people find it helpful due to, for example, flexibility, less travel and fitting into busy days.
Together or alone. Face to face in West Cornwall. Online for wider afield. Please help me to help you in your search for answers.
What have you and your partner got to lose? If you’d like help in your civil partnership, marriage, or something less formal, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.